bignbeautiful00

I am now twenty pounds away from my long awaited goal weight. I’m so very happy, you just don’t even know! It’s been a life long journey i have been on. Maybe in a couple more months i can reach my goal. I am already saving up to have a tummy tuck. I have loose skin everywhere, i look like a mastiff with all my extra skin. Anyway, i was just so excited i had to post about it!

Well, this is the first time i have maintained in a while. I dont like it. But i have no one to blame but myself cuz i haven’t been eating the greatest n i havent been gettin in the water like i am supposed to. I really need to go back to cuttin out the sugars…like candy. For some reason here lately i have been craving candy. So i vow no more candy and to drink at least 64oz of water daily. I also haven’t been exercising like i should either…So today is a new day n i will exercise today!! It’s a beautiful day maybe i will go swimming. Not sure but i know something needs to be done. My goal for myself was to be under 200lbs by june 5th. I dont think im going to make it. But i am setting a new goal for myself to be 185 by july 4th. I know i can do it if i eat how i know i am supposed to. Maybe i need to start keeping a food journal. That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I think i will start that.

Well….In my last blog i was having a mahor pity party for myself. It helped to vent it out cuz keepin it inside was just makin it worse. Then last night my husband n I went out on a lil “date”. I got all dressed up n put on some nice clothes. That made me feel so good. I wore a skirt n I never used to where a skirt. My husband noticed n he really liked it. That made me feel oh so much better. We also went n played basketball together yesterday. I’m not used to doing that. This fat girl got wore out…but man was it fun. That made me feel better too, getting active. I never realized how much of life i was missing out on. I cant wait til this summer when my husband n i go canoeing. I never go with him cuz i have never felt comfortable being big n going in a lil boat. I bought a new swimsuit too. I cant wait til the pool opens up. The new suit is the most revealing suit i have EVER owned. Im going to try to attatch a pic of it to this blog. Never done that before either. LOL. Well instead of going high tech… I just copied n pasted it. This is the suit i got except mine is red.

There is a pic of the color of mine. AHHH!! Im sooo very excited!! I wish i had the body of that model up above. One day…..

Well, thats all for now. Im glad to be back to lovin life!!

So I know I have been losing weight n for that I should be happy. But I am stuck in a slump in my world.  I get frustrated cuz I feel like I should be smaller then what I am. I look at myself n still see a VERY fat person. I don’t think I will ever get passed that. I also have extra skin that is saggy from losin’ weight so fast. I know a lot of people would kill to lose weight fast and not have to do much. I mean I eat VERY small portions cuz im forced to. I don’t eat much carbs cuz they dont sit well in my stomach. You would think I would be extatic with things…but for some reason I just can’t get myself there. I am so sick of being overweight. I am about to jump out of my skin. I’m just stuck in a mood where I want to change everything!! Sometimes I look around and think ” Everyone else has the life I want….Y can’t that be me” but really my life isn’t bad.

Anyway, I have had a long enough of a pity party. But I guess sometimes you have to have them to get past them. I sure hope getting this out in writing will help me up over this hurdle.

Ok so i was invited to join the Heartbreakers weightloss challenge group. I am very excited about this. I love this website how everyone is so supportive of everyone. Of course, we all know what a challenge it is to lose weight. I think this challenge is such a great idea. Everyone loves a challenge, it makes you work harder.

Well, i tried several diets my whole life and have never been able to lose much with them or keep it off. Weight is a struggle my whole family has to deal with. You got to love genetics. So i did my research and talked to several people and in december of ‘07 i had bariatric surgery. For me, it was the best decision i ever made. I have now lost over 50 pds according to my doctor’s scale. I feel so much better. I have more energy. Im starting to feel better about myself. I do need to work out more often then i do. I am much more aware of what i eat and how much i eat. Of course if i forget and eat too much my body quickly reminds me that i cant handle that much food. Im not saying that this surgery is right for everyone but if you have been morbidly obese for a long time it is definetly something to consider. If you have any questions about this surgery please feel free to ask.

I am just starting a new diet and thought i would check out this buddyslim thing. I have been on and off a million and one different diets. None of them ever seem to get me very far. So hopefully this will help….wish me luck!!